Do you remember the days when you didnâ€™t know what the boy from your ninth grade biology class ate for lunch this afternoon?Â Those were simpler times, I guess.
Facebook has changed our world in so many ways; I will find myself knowing things I never needed to know, filling my head to the brim with meaningless information, taking up space in my brain that probably could have been better used to store those acronyms and definitions while studying for finals…he had a tuna salad sandwich and Doritos, by the way.Â That is totally going to help me with my finals.
Looking at my mini-feed, there are constantly status updates.Â Maybe it is about the new video game you got, the number of pancakes you had this morning for breakfast, lyrics toÂ your favoriteÂ song, or the way that youâ€™re feeling at this exact moment in time. And now this exact moment.Â How about now?Â How do you feel right now? And we wonder why all of our homework isnâ€™t done.Â Sometimes I have fantasy sequences of people commenting what they really think about every pointless status update they see.
A. H. — could my life get anymore stressful!!!????? i totaly didnt need this to top off tests and finals!!
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â A, I donâ€™t know what youâ€™re talking about, but I am assuming you are feeling a little bit stressed out.Â Maybe you are even a tad bit overwhelmed?Â Well, I have to say, just reading this status update makes me feel anxious and stressed out.Â Thanks a lot for spreading this illness. P.S. I totally didn’t need this to top off tests and finals.
Z. H. — just took a 9 hour nap..
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Z, Iâ€™m sorry to hear that. I wish I could give you some of my sleep deprivation that I have tried so hard to achieve by only sleeping three hours in the last 48.Â In the meantime I will shed the worldâ€™s tiniest tear for you.Â Maybe you arenâ€™t even complaining about the nap, but my lack of sleep has made me lack the ability to perceive things accurately.Â Also, I officially hate youâ€¦itâ€™s facebook official.
J. C. â€“ weiners
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Really?Â I cannot even make up a word for howÂ …. I think you are right now.
A. S. –Â so long, farewell facebook. I can no longer use you to delay my paper that needs to be written.
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â A, youâ€™ve got the right idea!Â If only more people were as dedicated to homework as you are.Â Just think of how beautiful the world would be ifÂ those constantly-changing-my-status-to-something-lamers would follow example and take a little break from facebook.Â I am glad that I saw this on my news feed. Thank you for this breathe of fresh air.Â I am going to do all of my homework right now.Â What an inspiration!
â€œDear life, please fast forward to Wednesday afternoon….Thanks!â€Â I wonder if this will really workâ€¦I amÂ copying and pasting thisÂ to my status.Â Maybe someone will see it, and it will happen. Wish me luck! TTYL.